When I Grow Up I Want to be a Stable Adult

Ahh College – A place where people pay large sums of money to question why they’re even there to start with. It’s where young adults can often be found looking mildly fearful, confused, drunk or quite possibly all three. What more could anyone ask for?

In elementary school it was fun when someone asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. You’d give some charming answer like “an astronaut-ballerina-veterinarian,” parents would giggle and think “wow, we’ve got a dreamer on our hands!”

In middle school things started getting real. You’d realize that no, you can’t in fact be an astronaut-ballerina-veterinarian because that’s weird and a school specializing in that is either non-existent or super untrustworthy. But, adults reassured you still have plenty of time to figure it out, because you’re still young, and algebra is something you will use a lot in life.

Then high school hits, this isn’t a joke anymore. You don’t have the grades to be an astronaut or a veterinarian and you don’t have the noodle like figure to be a ballerina. Now when people ask you what you want to be, you expect to be comforted with “don’t worry you still have time,” but instead you’re slapped in the face with “well you better figure it out, registration for university starts in a month.”

If you were anything like me as a kid, you thought by 16 you’d know exactly what you wanted in life, exactly what to do to get there and maybe even have a power suit in your possession. You’d be set up for the necessary high school classes and have a G.P.A. high enough to get into that dream university.

But, if you were anything like me at 16, you had a teen angst phase that didn’t have a foreseeable end, a strong disliking towards tomatoes, and a growing collection of old broken cellphones sitting where your power suit should be. You didn’t know what you wanted with life, or know what school to attend to take what you didn’t know you wanted to spend your whole life doing.

A couple gap years later and here I am, a second year journalism student who was confident in her career decision but now often panics about if it was the right direction to go. One moment I think “completive field with low pay, I’m coming for you” and then a second later I’m breaking down in my closet sized residence room considering going back to work at McDonalds.

These ups and downs are all a part of the ride. I knew I loved writing and broadcast, but I couldn’t help continuously question my choices. For so long I thought I was solo in this constant internal battle between dropping out and sticking it out, but I soon learned that was far from the truth. People act like they know what they’re doing, but more times than not, they’re just as lost and confused and you are.

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