I have a really hard time saying no to things in fear of coming across as rude. One second you’re living your best life lying in bed and the next you’re waking up at 6:00 a.m. embarking on a 12 hour first date to the mountains with a random man who messaged you on Instagram (true story).
Luckily, we didn’t have a Ted Bundy like situation on our hands (this time) and I lived to tell the tale (this time), but it had me reflect on the amount of stuff I do just because I don’t want to be impolite. Don’t get me wrong — I had a great time on that date and the person is still in my life to this day. But, as someone riddled with anxiety and an unhealthy obsession of true crime, it usually takes a casual Fireball shot (or 30) to built up the courage to meet a
potential killer stranger from an app.
So, it’s now time for me, someone who has no idea how to say no, to teach you how to say no. Lets reverse those manners your parents tried so badly to ingrain into your soul. The time for politeness ends now.
1. If you’re only going because you feel bad, don’t go.
I agreed to go on a date with this guy because he seemed funny and I like to laugh (clearly I have sky high standards). As the date creeped up I noticed major red flags; he became possessive, manic/depressive and manipulative. I agreed to this to LOL, not to become a cautionary tale. When he confirmed plans, I was going to go because I felt bad backing out, but then I had this amazing realization — I don’t owe this strange man anything… I don’t have to go!! With the help and support of five girls, I built up the courage to send a message, which got me TF off that sinking ship. Once sent, I blocked his number and guess what happened? Nothing. I just had more time to do what I wanted to do. If thats so wrong I don’t want to be right.
2. If you’re only going because you’re going to feel left out, don’t go.
FOMO is a chronic issue every millennial battles with each coming day (#FOMOawareness). It’s exhausting to care about what everyone is doing all the time and its even more exhausting to make people care about what you’re doing. You literally spent seven hours climbing a mountain for an instagram picture despite the fact you’re scared of heights, allergic to exercise and think clean air smells bad. No one is going to remember you didn’t make it to #girlshikingtrip2018. Get back on that couch, binge watch Forensic Files and eat enough Flamin’ Hot Cheetos so the residue permanently stains your finger tips. If you’re phone can’t recognize your prints, you can’t unlock it and see all those pictures. FOMO = cured.
3. If you’re only going because you feel like you have to, don’t go.
If your coworker gets mad because you said no when asked to attend their childhood piano teacher’s niece’s dog’s 10th birthday party, then clearly you don’t need that person, or that negativity in your life (but check if there’s cake first).
In summation: Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do because you’re afraid of coming off as rude or you’re afraid of being left out. Save that energy for the obligatory family gathering or work commitment and spend the rest of your precious free time doing you, boo!